


Something More

by FairestInTheGalaxy



Series: Promise [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, I just really wanted to write this, Rey still doesn't really know about personal space, They're angsty sad children, This is my first work, and Kylo isn't good with women, how do you tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-26 16:01:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13239186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairestInTheGalaxy/pseuds/FairestInTheGalaxy
Summary: He comes to her in a moment of weakness, when she's curled up between the pipes under the grating, and she can't help but wish for something more.





	Something More

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first Reylo fanfic and the first I've published on ao3. So I hope I did good but if not, oh well.

            It was under the grating, lodged between warm pipes with the gentle hum of the ship on all sides of her, that Rey found the first moment of peace that she’d been privy to since she found BB-8 on Jakku. It was the first time that she’d actually been _alone_ since then. Alone in a way that didn’t tear her apart from the inside out. Alone in a way that didn’t make a cry want to claw its way up and out of her throat.

            No, this was a different alone. Here it was just her and the bowels of the ship, no one around to look at her with awe or gratefulness. There was no one on this ship that really knew what had happened on the Supremacy. Maybe the isolation was her fault, but she couldn’t help the simple thought that they just wouldn’t understand. So, she told them that Snoke was dead, that Ben (no, he was Kylo Ren), was the Supreme Leader now, and then she retreated.

            The hum of the bond was still there, but the hum of the ship seemed to overpower it in that moment. The ship seemed so alive, a stark contrast to the ships in the Graveyard of Giants. Maybe that was what she needed, just something small to feel alive. Something small to try and fix the hole that was growing larger and larger in her with every waking moment. She knew why it was there, but no part of her wanted to acknowledge it.

            Rey remembered waking up and seeing Ben lying across the room from her. He looked so peaceful that she almost couldn’t believe that they’d gone from fighting together to fighting each other.

            There had been a connection between them in the throne room, one that was still buzzing between them now. She’d had so much hope, had placed everything into him. She’d trusted him to watch her back and he’d trusted her to watch his. She’d _thrown_ him the lightsaber for kriff’s sake. When it was over, and her hope was at its peak, everything seemed to come crashing down as he offered her one gloved hand.

_Please._

            It would have been so easy, to just reach out and take his hand. He was offering what she’d always wanted, a place to belong, someone to rely on, someone who would come back for her.

            _Please._

Except she couldn’t do it. All she could think about was the Finn was relying on her. Leia was relying on her. The Resistance was relying on her. They were her family now, the beacon she wore was something to guide her back to them. She had almost taken his hand, before she realized what she was doing. It was a rash decision to reach for the lightsaber.

            _Please._

            Tears were dripping down her face now as she remembered that moment, and she reached a hand up to cover her mouth to stifle the sobs that were now forcing their way out.

            _Please._

            Why did it have to be like this? Why did it have to be the Resistance or the First Order? Why did it have to be the Light or Dark? Jedi or Sith? Why couldn’t it just be them? Rey and Ben?

            “Rey.”

            No, she couldn’t do this. How could she have missed the shift in the Force as the bond opened up? She didn’t need him to see her having a breakdown like this. She didn’t need to see him at all. It would only make it harder to force herself into calling him Kylo Ren and her enemy.

            “Rey.”

            She curled in on herself, into as tight a ball as she could. This space under the grating was barely big enough for herself, but with two of them in here it seemed so much smaller. He wasn’t here, not really, but the bond must have caught him in a moment where he was in a tight space. He wasn’t really here, but she could feel the heat radiating off of him as if he was, and she was reminded of the night on Ahch-To where they’d touched and their future had flashed before her eyes.

            “Why are you crying?”

            Kriff, why couldn’t he just shut up and wait until the bond let them go? The bond had a mind of its own, but that didn’t mean that they needed to agree with it every time it forced a connection. So, between sobs, she managed to finally choke something out, “Go away.”

            There was a pause before he replied, “You know I don’t control this any more than you do.”

            Except it would make all of their problems go away so much quicker if they could, “I don’t care.”

            She could hear the frown in his voice as he replied, “Rey, look at me.”

            It was a simple request, but one that terrified the brunette. She was afraid of what she would see now, after she’d left him and his offer behind. “No,” Rey replied stubbornly.

            “Please,” She could hear a slight quiver in his voice, and she wondered if that was what it would have sounded like if he’d spoken the last time the bond connected them. It broke down whatever defenses she’d thought she’d had, and Rey couldn’t help but slowly turn her head to look at him.

            There was no hint of Kylo Ren in his features in that moment. As he appeared to kneel down next to her, he looked nothing more than a scared child who’d gotten themselves into something they didn’t know how to control and was no grasping at strings. He was as much Ben Solo as he’d been that night in the hut. That thought caused yet more tears to slip down her cheeks.

            A rustling broke her careful study of his features and she let her eyes trail down to watch as she removed both gloves, something she was beginning to consider symbolic to them. One of his hands rose next, as if to cup her cheek, but it stopped just short of connection, and she could see the hesitation in his eyes. It was through her own will that she moved her head slightly, so that her cheek and his hand met each other.

            That seemed to be all it took for him to wipe almost dried tears from her cheek, worry being projected both through the bond and through his stare.

            “Why?” Rey questioned, her voice barely a whisper as she looked at him, watching as the light on his face seemed to reflect that of the Falcon more than his own, just as it had that night in the hut. It was almost like he was here, but they both knew that wasn’t true.

            “Because we’ve both chosen our paths,” Ben replied, his voice echoing through the bond.

            She felt anger rise in her, both at them and at the universe. She pushed it down though, seeking for the peace that she’d felt back on Ahch-To. “It doesn’t have to be this way, though!” She exclaimed as she did her best to remove herself from her balled up position, given the current circumstances. Her tears were forgotten in favor of the hope she’d felt only a few days prior.

            “There’s no other way, Rey,” Ben replied, a frown marring his already scarred face.

            She’d put that scar there, had left him with a brutal reminder that he’d been bested by someone untrained. Except she felt no pride in that, and he seemed to feel no shame over it. The sight of that scar only seemed to fill her with more conviction than before, “Yes, there is. We could, we could-“

            “We could, what?” He interrupted, an equally pained look on his face. “Run away together? Pretend that none of this ever happened? You know that can’t happen, Rey. The First Order and the Resistance will never stop looking for either of us, and there’s no running from either. This war is going to continue with or without our help, and without us it could become a lot messier.”

            When she didn’t reply, only looked at him with a sad and defeated look in her eyes, Rey could see Ben visibly soften, his gaze mirroring hers. They were both people who had gotten swept up in this without any say, and now they’d dug themselves in so deep they couldn’t leave. “I’m sorry,” He whispered, moving his hand to run it through her lose hair.

            It was that movement that gave her the courage to anchor her hands in his hair and press their foreheads together. Rey could hear his breathing stutter as they both took in how close they were in that moment. It was closer than she’d ever expected to get to him, but it brought so many thoughts to mind.

            Maybe in another universe at another time they would have met under better circumstances, without war and the shadow of murder surrounding them and without the expectations that everyone seemed to have. They could have been something _more_.

            It was almost like that, in this moment. They were just Rey and Ben, in the bowels of the Falcon. It left her wishing and wanting, for things to have gone so differently for the both of them.

            She could feel the bond beginning to close, could feel as his warmth began to fade, and a moment of panic began to fly through her, because she wasn’t ready to let go of this just yet.

            “I’m sorry,” Ben said, meeting her eyes one last time as he completely faded, leaving her alone with just the hum of the ship and fresh tears on her cheeks.

            In the distance, she could make out Finn calling for her, and she knew that her moment of peace was already over. The Resistance needed a Jedi, and she had to be that Jedi.

_____

            Somewhere, on another ship in another part of the galaxy, a defeated man was kneeling in his closet, already missing the warmth that she’d brought.

 

Fin.


End file.
